Older Younger relationships

My thought was that since he has a child and has another on his way shouldn't he be responsible enough at this point to have a place of his own? He is obviously relying in his family to support him, whether it be financially, emotionally, or both. And added to that is the fact that you can not even get your own place to live without selling something? That pretty much tells me that you both were immature to allow yourselves to become pregnant at this time.

Good job!

I'd be worried like hell that I was going to end up being 'discarded other woman and child number two'.

i was not saying you did not have an opinion to make, juryofone so calm down.

Danielle, due to the situation, we were not PLANNING on having a child this early, it happened and we're happy and working on what to do now. We would have liked to wait a few years before having a child but since it happened earlier than we expected we're dealing with things now. if we were immature we wouldnt give a damn about this all right now we wouldnt be saving, or anything like that now we weould be messing around here and there doing what we want when we want but that is not the case. Alot of teens get pregnant unexpectedly.
Is it such a horrible thing to live with family, regardless of the age?
We have money, but with our restaurant being sold it would help us out alot more.
Its not being immature, its just being 100% sure that we have enough to get a place, have money for our child and other needs, because due to how things worked out, we are not fully set on moving or anything yet and are working on all that like i said, now.

Futureshock, my bf and i met through family, and we would go paintballing together and movies with friends and we became close and started seeing each other more often again i was of legal age to date him, i have known him for 2 years, and when i got kicked out, i was living with a extremely dysfunctional family and he helped me get out of that situation and out of bad habbits. i knew his family and they like me alot, and told george [bf/fiance] to move me into their home and he did.

Boyfriend or fiance?
What's the scoop?

Are you pulling the ol' he hasn't really asked me to marry him but we've talked about it a little...and I'm pregnant so to save face I'm going to say he's my fiance.

no he is my fiance, we are planning a wedding a year after our baby is born.

There is plenty of evidence that says you planned this pregnancy. Months of posts say you did. He may not have planned it but you did.

i did not plan it. but whatever say what you want.
clearly if i was planned, we would have had all the things we wanted to have done before this pregnancy.
months of posts...what months of posts. i was wanting a child like 4 or more months before but realized it was not the time nor environment to raise a child because of where i was living before.
this was unplanned. if it were, my parents would have accepted it better, i most likely would have been finished school, would have mabe been a little older than 18! And how unfair would that have been to my fiance, to just plan a pregnancy without his two cents being added into it. that is horrible. we werent expecting to have a child this soon, but we've both made our bed, and have to live with it and work on things now.

Krystine, I think it's time to stop this pretense. So what if you planned it? Many, many other people on these boards (ehealth) have done the same thing.
Posted: 11-08-07 11:03pm

krystineM wrote:

is it normal to have some bleeding the day after if you are trying to conceive?

http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic114688.html



http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic125648.html

that was a general question i was asking, and was something i was concerned with when i was in the beginning of my pregnancy. if i knew it was going to be taken as an 'i planned it myself' vendetta, i would have never asked that question or would have corrected myself from the beginning.
i would never do a thing like that, plan on getting pregnant without discussing it with my partner...thats just wrong.

Remember this?

krystineM
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2007
Posts: 310
Location: mississauga, ontario Canada

Post
Posted: 10-12-07 6:39pm
i now know that because my boyfriend and i have unprotected sex, there is a chance of me getting pregnant, and i am willing to accept that if it does happen, if my boyfriend isn't then thats his personal problem, and your right we should be using protection then. But we've talked about it adn he has told me that he will support me and your right i dont know what the future holds, but if theres a baby in that picture sometime soon, im willing to be 100% dedicated to raising that baby.
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that was with my ex boyfriend.
not my fiance that i am with now.
i had unprotected sex with him 1 time, and thought i could be pregnant but was not.
after that, things got weird with us, he was getting heavy into drugs, i was depressed, and i ended the repationship, moved out of his house and moved in with george and we started dating. that was back some time in october.
a month after that the relationship ended and i was with george.
NOT planning on getting pregnant, not expecting to become pregnant any time soon, but it turned out, that was not the case.

So within 5 months you went from having unprotected sex with your boyfriend to another guy whom you are now pregnant by and going to "marry"?

Are you sure you are in a responsible relationship? You don't seem too responsible yourself.

krystine, I don't think anyone would really care if you were just honest with...well, everyone, including yourself.

I really think it just pains people to read what you're doing.

Erulissë wrote:

krystine, I don't think anyone would really care if you were just honest with...well, everyone, including yourself.

I really think it just pains people to read what you're doing.

Yes! I am shocked that Krystine continues to claim she was not trying to get pregnant when all the evidence (her own words) point to the contrary. She was trying to get pregnant! The fact that she had multiple partners in a short period of time is new news but that seems to make her situation so much more sad.

krystineM wrote:

i did not plan it. but whatever say what you want.
clearly if i was planned, we would have had all the things we wanted to have done before this pregnancy.
months of posts...what months of posts. i was wanting a child like 4 or more months before but realized it was not the time nor environment to raise a child because of where i was living before.
this was unplanned. if it were, my parents would have accepted it better, i most likely would have been finished school, would have mabe been a little older than 18! And how unfair would that have been to my fiance, to just plan a pregnancy without his two cents being added into it. that is horrible. we werent expecting to have a child this soon, but we've both made our bed, and have to live with it and work on things now.

krystineM

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Posted: 10-12-07 2:33am

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i am 18 and i know its a young age to say i want a baby, but its really what i want.
i've thought it through, i feel like a child is the only thinkg that would make my life worth living for, because instead of thinking of myself, i now have a child to care for and love and give the world to. My mother always judged everything i did and brainwashed me to think that you have to be a certain way for people to accept you, and it drove me crazy, and we fought all the time; fought so much that she kicked me out and i now live with my boyfriend. I always said, if i had a kid i would respect what he or she wanted to do and love them no matter what.
im out of school, working, moving in to an apartment with my boyfriend, this is what i want, a baby to bring into the world. Even though i am young, i wish i am pregnant, i wish this isnt just a feeling.


krystineM

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Location: mississauga, ontario Canada
Posted: 10-12-07 12:34pm

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i realize that having a baby isnt all fun and games, i know their expensive
My boyfriend and i are in a relationship that is a serious one where we see us spending the rest of our lives together, say what you want. yeah things may come in the way of us being happy and we may argue, but thats what relationships are, you get in a rut about something and you work it out. its just a problem.

ive had to grow up fast my entire life. ive had to babysit my two brothers since i was about 10 even though you should start babysitting at 13, i later had to babysit my two step sisters when my dad got re-married ALONG with my two brothers.4 KIDS and your only like 11 years old now PLUS your younger brother had menengitis and has a learning disability and you have to take care of him even though he doesnt co-operate well.

my boyfriend thinks we should wait until we move out of his parents house and into an apartment of our own. i can wait till we move out....

Being 18 and kicked out, living with my boyfriend, we've had money problems our self here and there. Just coming up with enough for our apartment was tough, but we did it. My boyfriend always said if i were to get pregnant with his child, he would not leave me. First off, his dad would kick his ass if he left me and i was pregnant, and my boyfriend always said, he would be there for me through it all. and the caca my boyfriend and i have been through, i know hes telling the truth.

krystineM

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Posted: 10-14-07 12:19am

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well i dont really believe in using birth control.
Before you critisize, please, hear me out,

I know that birth control would be a good thing to look in to,
but my theory ever since i started having sex has been, if you're not ready to have a kid, don't have sex. And yeah i know im not ready to have a kid, which is why my boyfriend and i use the pull-out method, and i know that i could get pregnant grom pre-ejaculation, but im 18 and still haven't had a child yet.

Not being on birth control is my personal reason.
Everyone is different, some choose to use it, i preferr not to.

krystineM

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Posted: 12-19-07 9:15am

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i was not trying to get pregnant, i NEVER got an ovulation kit, i didnt go to a doctor and talk about getting myself pregnant, it happened unexpectedly.
Previous threads...that was like months ago maybe like 3 months ago i had gotten information from other people on here about that but never got one.

and girlfriend no i am not doing drugs ive been clean for a while now and am not touching them again.

Krystine, regardless of what you say now, we know the following:

1) You want to be pregnant now, even if your boyfriend wants to wait.
2) If you are pregnant, it is not an "accident" from being on the pill, it is from frequent unprotected sex.

Neither of these things are unusual. In fact, after reading the boards at ehealth for a few months, it seems to be the norm.

juryofone wrote:

Erulissë wrote:

krystine, I don't think anyone would really care if you were just honest with...well, everyone, including yourself.

I really think it just pains people to read what you're doing.

Yes! I am shocked that Krystine continues to claim she was not trying to get pregnant when all the evidence (her own words) point to the contrary. She was trying to get pregnant! The fact that she had multiple partners in a short period of time is new news but that seems to make her situation so much more sad.

ARE YOU READING WHAT I HAD LAST POSTED!!!
that was back in october, with my ex who was getting heavy ino drugs and i realized i did not WANT to bring a child into the world with him, so i left him, and started dating george.
we were NOT trying, we used protection, i got back on birth control but it failed. and i am now pregnant.
ANd no future it was not from frequent unprotected sex, i used a condom with the last boyfriend i had majority, and with george i was on the pill and he did not use a condom.
Why does it make my situation sad.
I got myself out of a sh-t hole and out of bad habbits.
How is that sad? Im with the person that i want to be with and who makes me happy...Yet this is sad?

krystineM wrote:

How is that sad? Im with the person that i want to be with and who makes me happy...Yet this is sad?

Man, it's sad cuz you were dating one dude in Oct. and said you were in a serious lifelong whatever relationship, and now you are saying all kinds of shit about this George character who is twice your age, lives with his family, has an ex and a kid and you're 18 and pregnant. And so that means you've been with him for, I dunno, four months? And you're 18 weeks pregnant. And you said that a baby is the only meaningful thing you could do with your life. And your parents treated you like shit.

It's just effing sad, Krystine, but it's not too late; you don't have to keep going down this path! Finish school, go to college, & be something for yourself.

It's rough as hell to see young women like you make bad choice after bad choice.

Erulissë wrote:

krystineM wrote:

How is that sad? Im with the person that i want to be with and who makes me happy...Yet this is sad?

Man, it's sad cuz you were dating one dude in Oct. and said you were in a serious lifelong whatever relationship, and now you are saying all kinds of shit about this George character who is twice your age, lives with his family, has an ex and a kid and you're 18 and pregnant. And so that means you've been with him for, I dunno, four months? And you're 18 weeks pregnant. And you said that a baby is the only meaningful thing you could do with your life. And your parents treated you like shit.

It's just effing sad, Krystine, but it's not too late; you don't have to keep going down this path! Finish school, go to college, & be something for yourself.

It's rough as hell to see young women like you make bad choice after bad choice.

ok again, i said a baby was the only thing that would be meaningful in my left when i was with my ex, i THOUGHT it was a life long relationship hell i was high almost everyday when i was with the ass, i would have though anything that floated or moved was meaningful! i THOUGHT a kid would be the only thing that mattered, but i wised up. stopped doing drugs, got back in school to finish and get a diploma for my baby, and realized that it does not make the world peachy, and doesnt make things better.
We chose to keep this baby because we want to be there for the baby and each other, not because i think its the only thing with meaning. This is not a bad choice, to us this is a good choice we feel we are doing the right thing, we can give our child the things he or she needs in life, and we're doing it because we can, not because we think it is the only thing with meaning.
Im not going down the wrong path, believe me, this is right this feels right. if you told me that back in the summer, i would not disagree with you.
I am back in my last year of school, need only 3 credits to graduate, and like i said im doing that for my kid.
I will be home for probably a year to care for the baby while George works, and he is going to be supporting and helping me with the baby too.
After that, i am most likely going to get a job because we will most definately be in our own place by then, and look into a program where i can take a college course at home [if that is possible]
OR i can go to college when my kid starts up school full time. I have all the time to think about college, and its not always for everyone.

Erulissë wrote:

krystineM wrote:

How is that sad? Im with the person that i want to be with and who makes me happy...Yet this is sad?

Man, it's sad cuz you were dating one dude in Oct. and said you were in a serious lifelong whatever relationship, and now you are saying all kinds of shit about this George character who is twice your age, lives with his family, has an ex and a kid and you're 18 and pregnant. And so that means you've been with him for, I dunno, four months? And you're 18 weeks pregnant. And you said that a baby is the only meaningful thing you could do with your life. And your parents treated you like shit.

It's just effing sad, Krystine, but it's not too late; you don't have to keep going down this path! Finish school, go to college, & be something for yourself.

It's rough as hell to see young women like you make bad choice after bad choice.

Krystine's mother didn't help matters when she kicked Krystine out while she was still in high school. The reason I phrased it this way: "while she was still in high school", was because I wanted to point out that even though she was 18, she was still a "minor" by way of still being a student, and not an adult.

after getting kicked out i decided to stop going to school
but george incouraged me to do it and in the end i decided i should because if i had not gone back now, i really dont think i would go back after the baby is born.
things happen, ive come to terms with the saying everything happens for a reason maybe this was just how things were supposed to be to give my head a shake, wise up fast and learn from mistakes i have made in the past.

I still cannot get over a mother kicking her daughter out of the house. Where were you supposed to go? Where were you going to sleep? Eat? I'd be frantic with worry.

Yeah... I'm not really buying into your new found truth telling here.

Are we now seriously to believe that just 5 short months ago you were with someone you were going to marry and were actively TTC... yet by December, just 2 months later (in some of your posts about TTC and thinking you were pregnant, it was only a month!), you are in a committed relationship with someone you are going to marry?

Hmm, things sure move quick in your world. Might want to get tested for STDs.

juryofone wrote:

Yeah... I'm not really buying into your new found truth telling here.

Are we now seriously to believe that just 5 short months ago you were with someone you were going to marry and were actively TTC... yet by December, just 2 months later (in some of your posts about TTC and thinking you were pregnant, it was only a month!), you are in a committed relationship with someone you are going to marry?

Hmm, things sure move quick in your world. Might want to get tested for STDs.

omg. someone needs wo wash their mouth out with soap.
and hun, when you are pregnant, they do the major prenatal exam, and test for all that. im clean.
so are you telling me that when someone says something like they will be withthat person forever, they HAVE TO stay with that person FOREVER just because they said it? can a person not change their mind.
im being honest and thats still not good enough. next time dont ask.
i was not actively trying to concieve with my ex cuz if you read we used protection.
i was asking if spotting was common while trying to concieve but i should have worded it while inthe beginning of pregnancy.
i am in a committed relationship.
leave me alone stop interogating me.

krystineM wrote:

juryofone wrote:

Yeah... I'm not really buying into your new found truth telling here.

Are we now seriously to believe that just 5 short months ago you were with someone you were going to marry and were actively TTC... yet by December, just 2 months later (in some of your posts about TTC and thinking you were pregnant, it was only a month!), you are in a committed relationship with someone you are going to marry?

Hmm, things sure move quick in your world. Might want to get tested for STDs.

omg. someone needs wo wash their mouth out with soap.
and hun, when you are pregnant, they do the major prenatal exam, and test for all that. im clean.
so are you telling me that when someone says something like they will be withthat person forever, they HAVE TO stay with that person FOREVER just because they said it? can a person not change their mind.
im being honest and thats still not good enough. next time dont ask.
i was not actively trying to concieve with my ex cuz if you read we used protection.
i was asking if spotting was common while trying to concieve but i should have worded it while inthe beginning of pregnancy.
i am in a committed relationship.
leave me alone stop interogating me.

TWO MONTHS. You are hardly in a committed relationship. I'm only mirroring your own words. You don't like them, stop using them.